GRATITUDE- Relationship my mind

“The heart that gives thanks is a happy one, for we cannot feel thankful and unhappy at the same time.” -D.W

Gratitude is like offering your mental health a big bowl of nutritional greens. You're giving yourself everything you really need. Cultivating the right attitude and thoughts.

When someone says 'be grateful for what you have' it can either be taken positively or negatively. I found that naming what I am grateful for isn't enough, it doesn't help my mind shift into gratitude as a way of living, an embodiment. Instead I found that hindsight was the most effective way to practice gratitude.

In acknowledging where I was, the hardships experienced as well as the good times, I constantly became grateful. Appreciative of surviving, because as we all know surviving is sometimes all we can do. This is okay. My mental health is elevated into a dimension of contentment, light and joy regarding here and now. 

Your circumstance may remain the same for a season but your mind is not limited to that circumstance.

Ways you can exercise gratitude

1. Look back

2. Appreciate what you have access to right now

3. Remember to say thank you for what you are receiving/give thanks

4. Savour moments and experiences, be present

5. Keep a gratitude journal

DISAPPOINTMENT - Relationship my mind

 Just before I moved abroad in March, I went through a lot of disappointment.

I've been disappointed many times before and so I manage my expectations. This time the disappointment felt heavier than usual. I came to accept that no matter how well expectations are managed, I am human. I am allowed to feel disappointed, just not forever...not for long.

Disappointment can be rooted in anything...jobs, relationships, finances, family dynamics...

It can bring about feelings of sadness, anger and despair, amongst other feelings that have a negative impact on your mental health.

The first thing I think about when it comes to disappointment is what kind of expectations did I set up? 

Were they too high, too small, realistic or idealistic? I read once before that we shouldn't set any expectations for anyone and this is the way to live a better life. I disagree, not willingly but because experience has taught me that having bare minimum expectations allows you to create a standard of what you tolerate in life. What is the point of having those you love around you but never expecting them to show up in one way or another? Of course you can't control anyone, but knowing where you stand in relationships and situations is important to navigate how you then deal with life. It's no easy thing, but it can work.

Advice

-Come back to the disappointing situation when you are calm!

-Evaluate your expectations...do they need to be altered?

-Identify if it something beyond your control.

-Communicate 

 

FEAR X ANXIETY - Relationship my mind

Fear and anxiety are frustrating states of mind. They are real or fake. What do I mean? 

They present themselves to you in real life form or they are imagined threats.

Real fear and anxiety versus imagined fear/anxiety are equally dangerous. How? The effects they can have on your mind and the stresses it can cause to you physically present themselves as real.

 Fear and anxiety can result in...

Panic attacks
Sweating
Fast/inconsistent breathing
Insomnia 
Shakes
Isolation

and so much more. 

Now I've already written a blogpost on 'How to shut up your Anxiety'- (have a read) so I won't touch on the same points.

Instead I want to touch on the thousands of times you may have been fearful and anxious and whether it has benefitted your situation. The answer is obviously no. Fear and anxiety often feed on the unknown, whether it be your unknown feelings, circumstance or future. Guess what fear and anxiety thrive off the control you lack. 

At a certain point of my life I had to make a very conscious decision to take control of everything I do not have a clue about. Quite the paradox. Take control in not knowing. To not fear outcomes because at the end of road you will survive! You need that mental COURAGE. It takes courage to calm yourself, to continue your day and not be frozen. It takes courage to take rest in your fear and anxiety.

I know you may be thinking, but if only you knew how uncontrollable my anxiety can get, trust me I do! There are ways to shut it up and I write about that but little did I know the other side of managing anxiety & fear. Consciousness and courage.

It takes real courage. It takes confidence, not knowing anything but knowing who you are in the very moment you are in. I'm not going to affirm that for you, because people cannot always cheer you on. It hurts to understand this reality but your mind has you all the time. Fear and anxiety don't have any courage or confidence. So embody their worst nightmare and see how you feel.