The Importance of Being Uncomfortable

It’s been a long time coming – the ability to feel content; immeasurably fulfilled and unequivocally happy, without trying to reach those parts within myself artificially. I’ve reached a milestone, and I’m proud to admit it.
There’s something inside my core that I’ve awoken, and it’s changed my perspective on everything that I experience day-to-day. And the best thing is that it’s been a gradual process. I understand now why they say that time is the best healer. With time, you come to understand that everything is a process. Everything evolves further. The stage you’re at now is only the present, and as much as you should ground yourself into feeling it with all of your being, you should also understand that with time, this stage will evolve into something better. Perhaps even something you cannot comprehend right now.

My biggest lesson in life – and possibly, what I’m most grateful for – is that everything happens for a reason. I know this phrase is continually heaved back and forth with an air of insight to it, and it always seems to carry a philosophical depth that you feel like you should be able to relate more to than you actually can. But even being aware of this, I feel like this time I’m saying it differently. I’m saying everything happens for a reason because of the fact that you don’t know what’s coming. And guess what? You’re not supposed to.

Everything that has led to you being in this moment (call it fate, God’s plan, or karma), has happened with a purpose. All the dark times you’ve been through, all the times where you couldn’t see past the misery you were experiencing, and all the times you’ve wondered why you’ve had to go through it. There is always more than one way to look at a series of events, of course. But the perspective that, for me personally, has been the most productive and enlightening, is to view my experiences as events that happened through me, rather than to me. The latter suggests I was a victim of my circumstances. I am not a victim – nor will I ever claim to be one. If anything, I am a survivor. A survivor of everything I have been through. And equally, so are you.

And so, having the faith (and even if you’re not a believer [I do not classify myself as one] don’t be put off by this choice of word) to not be discouraged by your circumstances is one of the biggest learning curves you can experience. It’s realising that it’s all bigger than you. And having the faith to learn the patterns of healing. The sequence of feeling insubstantial now, but realising, even if it hasn’t materialised itself into truth yet, this is only temporary.

It’s becoming comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. And I cannot stress this enough.

Let me dwell on that last point for just a minute. What do I mean? How does one become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable? It’s a process you submit yourself to, because you realise it’s the only way to grow. You start to understand that only when you’ve been uncomfortable have you allowed yourself to develop in some way that has been a spontaneous act of evolution. As humans, we are built to survive and the only way to push yourself to grow is to push yourself to the limit. You have to push yourself mentally to be able to develop to the next stage. This naturally breeds uncomfortability, but this is the aim. And the goal is to pass uncomfortability to get to the other side – growth.

If you are a believer, you will most likely have spiritual beliefs about the afterlife. These beliefs manifest themselves through an underlying faith that whatever is out there is bigger than you, therefore as humans we may not have the capacity to understand it, but we understand that we are not supposed to. And we know that we don’t have the capacity to understand for a reason – because we are not meant to know what is coming. We are meant to simply believe that it will come. The same process we can apply to our experiences. There may have been times in the past where you believed that you had bent your values, principles and ultimately your core, so much in the space of an experience, and felt like you had been permanently altered. You didn’t allow yourself time to heal, you simply decided that it had changed you. But of course, this mentality takes away the control you have in any situation. If you think back to these life events, you’ll realise two things: 

1) you found those core values again through introspection, growth and being true to yourself, and 

2) you became a better version of the person you were before you underwent the experience.

We’re not undefeatable – as you’re reading this, there are most likely small issues or drawbacks you are facing in your life that are challenging you. Or are affecting your ability to be happy. What you feel, the thoughts you’ve been experiencing and your overall mentality is only temporary. You need to realise that in time, you will feel that happiness that you long for, but you need to stop searching for it everywhere synthetically. Organic happiness cannot be faked or reproduced. All you need to do is be really honest with yourself, and be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Stop asking everyone else what they think in the hope they will provide you with the answer you would like to hear and answer your own questions – but be ruthless. The truth you give yourself will undoubtedly be hard to swallow. But do yourself a favour and listen to it.

And then watch results happen.

Kalina.